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Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:18 am Post subject: Jeff Probst Blog Episode 9
Jeff Probst blogs 'Survivor: Tocantins' (episode 9)
Apr 17, 2009, 08:36 AM | by Jeff Probst
Okay, truth test...you're starting to love Coach a little bit, right? If not, you are gonna hate this blog, because this blog is dedicated to Coach.
I've hosted Survivor for 18 seasons, and up until now there has only been one person I thought might be worthy of their own show and that was Boston Rob. That is, up until now.
I am seriously considering a show called The Dragon Slayer. It's about a guy who lives in a world that exists solely in his own mind, and thus is invisible to the outside world. While it is the year 2009, the Dragon Slayer dresses like he's just returned from one of those Renaissance fairs where he's just finished eating a turkey leg the size of a small dog. We'll simply follow his daily life, where every time he leaves his home offers the potential for a life changing, near-death, journey. Every episode concludes with his signature line:
Coach: "Hence my name, the dragon slayer."
Most shows suffer from running out of ideas. That will never happen on The Dragon Slayer, not with comments like this:
Coach: "I want you guys to know there are three people in the world that know this story."
Okay, that is a total lie. Coach told all of us producers this same story during casting and I've probably told three or four other people cause come on, it's a good story. They've told people, who've told other people, cause again, it really is a good story. I'd argue that after tonight's episode, seen in over a hundred countries, that Coach's story of being beaten by indigenous people in the Amazon will soon surpass Susan Boyle in popularity. Don't know who Susan Boyle is? Stop reading this blog and go to YouTube.
Back to my new show, The Dragon Slayer. Another reason Coach deserves his own show is because he has principles. For instance, in one episode, National Geographic wants to come along with Coach as he kayaks down the Amazon, but he says no.
Coach: "I'm doing this alone."
That is a true Dragon Slayer. You do it not for the glory, but because it is there.
Say no to Nat Geo, but a resounding YES to Survivor. The man knows his demographic.
At this point in the pitch, I'm just gonna give you some topics for future episodes, snippets of dialogue you'll hear in the show:
EPISODE 4: FLY ME TO THE MOON... FOR FREE
Brendan: "How'd you afford a military chopper?"
Coach: "That I got for free."
Brendan: "How'd you do that?"
Coach: "I pulled some strings."
EPISODE 5 – THE SERMON
Coach: "Be the wizard, Stephen, be the wizard."
EPISODE 8 - YOU WON'T FIND IT (this will be our Emmy submission)
Coach: "If you do a Google search you won't find it; it's only passed down verbally."
Okay, now if you tell me you do not appreciate the brilliance of that line and the man who uttered it, I challenge you and say you are a LIAR. Furthermore, I'll give 20-1 odds that tonight, (Friday) you'll be home alone with microwave popcorn and some ridiculous Jim Carrey movie.
What a brilliant line. Maybe the single most brilliant line this season. That one sentence can literally get you out of any jam. "If you Google it, you won't find it, it's only (fill in the blank) verbally."
Coach is a genius.
The writing that comes out of Coach's mouth is so good that I am honestly intimidated. If Hollywood could write at this level consistently, there would be no need for anyone to ever strike because everybody would be working!
Brendan: We're throwing underhand breaking tiles and none of us have ever done us before.
Coach: "I have."
I throw my hands up. I cannot keep up. You get the idea. And yes, in case you're wondering, my lawyer has assured me that this blog constitutes ownership of the idea, the name of the show, and of Coach himself.
Okay, okay a few other things:
From what I can tell from my position as host, being on Exile Island with somebody is bad enough, being out there alone is miserable. An hour feels like a month. A bit of rain can get you so cold you truly believe you will freeze to death, never to awake again.
Stephen was completely out of his element and over his head on Exile and to his credit, he hung in there and he did it. He made fire. Making fire is never as easy as you think it is. I'm impressed.
Tyson — the dude is dangerous. A major physical threat. Also one of the best spontaneous lines of the night:
Tyson: (Regarding voting out Sierra) "It probably won't win me her vote...(long pause) but it might win me everybody else's vote!" I love Tyson. He cracks me up. I definitely think that Tyson should show up as a nemesis in the third episode of my new show, but he and Dragon Slayer eventually become friends. But what Coach doesn't know is that Tyson one day plans to slay him and steal the Dragon Slayer crown.
J.T.: "I'd come back with a damn 30-30 Winchester." Okay, look, I will admit that I am not a big gun enthusiast so it probably won't surprise anyone that J.T.'s comment about how he'd handle those damn Amazonian people who captured Coach made me more than a bit uncomfortable. I'm telling you, J.T. would make a great small town Sheriff.
Okay, let's get to Tribal Council and the star of my new show, The Dragon Slayer.
Coach: "Brendan's the dragon. I'm the Dragon Slayer."
Brendan: "He's kinda like a snake — don't bother him and he won't bother you."
Ah Brendan, such a good strategy. Unfortunately you bothered him and he bit you.
In one of the biggest surprises of the season, Coach defeats Brendan. The Dragon Slayer slays the Dragon.
Poor Brendan. Sitting on that idol... he never saw it coming. Blindside #4. That one hurt. Hated to see Brendan go as he seems like a guy you'd have a beer with.
But as much as I like Brendan, I'll admit, if given the choice of keeping the dragon or the Dragon Slayer – you know my vote. Long live the Dragon Slayer!!!
Please keep the Dragon Slayer all the way to the end. Please let him plead his case to the jury.
Two last things:
1. Coach can never write his own dialogue in my new show, The Dragon Slayer, and here's an example of why:
Coach: "Who really was the chosen one? It's gonna be Coach Wade."
Wait...What? Coach Wade? Coach Wade? What happened to my Dragon Slayer? Coach fell out of character. For one moment he remembered who he really was, "Coach Wade" and it totally blew the whole image thing.
"Coach Wade" does NOT work. It doesn't ring and it doesn't conjure up cool images of things being "slayed" either. It actually makes me imagine an overweight, former athlete turned insurance salesman living in Tulsa.
Nothing sexy about that. Nothing. Sorry, but I've been to Tulsa.
That line should read:
"Who really was the chosen one? The Dragon Slayer."
And the last thing...and the best part of my new TV show, The Dragon Slayer, Coach has an Achilles heel, he'll cut his nose off to spite his face. Coach, you may have defeated Brendan, but in my opinion you and the former Timbira tribe made a terrible decision tonight. Voting out Brendan made no sense at all. You should have taken out J.T.
Havent even finished reading and I feel the need to comment. Jeff the problem with your assessment of coach and the whole thing is that you have assumed that coach isnt lying and full of crap. I hated Boston Rob too! If Jeff was gay I would tell him just to bang coach and get it over with. jeez! Ok back to the blog. _________________ "This stuff is beyond crap. It is what crap wants to be when it grows up"
I am not a gun person but I thought JT's comment about the Winchester was funny. _________________ "This stuff is beyond crap. It is what crap wants to be when it grows up"
Joined: Sep 29, 2008 Posts: 18593 Location: Albany, GA
Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 12:01 am Post subject:
Jeff Probst blogs 'Survivor: Tocantins' (episode 10) Apr 24, 2009, 07:58 AM | by Jeff Probst
Hey all,
How good was that episode?! On a scale of 1-10, I'd love your feedback. I honestly think it's one of the best Survivor episodes ever, for the following reasons:
1. LOVED IT: The opening shot of Coach standing in the water doing his various poses — not because it's Coach but because if you really go back and look at the shot it's absolutely amazing. Our helicopter team is so good. That shot is really beautiful as it spins around him and then pulls away. It's movie good. Bet you didn't even notice it – it was that good. Go back and check.
2. HATED IT: Okay, I've had just about enough of Sierra having to plead for her life with everybody else. Coach, Tyson, Debbie – everybody lecturing her. The ''older folk'' are working the young girl over and now Sierra is my new favorite underdog.
Sierra, tell them to shut it. It's easy to do. Just say, ''Shut it.''
Even Serena is really pissed. She is mad that Sierra has never been given a fair shot. From day one, when she was sick and ousted from the tribe, she has been working hard to earn their approval. Serena is angry. Very angry. I like it when Serena gets angry.
BTW: Tyson, you're wrong – her boyfriend IS pretty cool. Mess with him, you mess with me and you don't want to mess with me. Okay, check that, maybe you do want to mess with me, so I'm just asking, please don't mess with me.
3. TENDER MOMENT: Coach has a heart. He extends an olive branch to the young female Dragon Slayer in the making, Sierra. She needs a better Dragon Slayer name though – how about Sierra-Mota. Has a certain ring, I think.
And Sierra with a beautiful line: ''How do you save the kind enemy?'' I know for many of you this just passes by without appreciation, but as a veteran of this reality world, I'm telling you this kind of writing is rare air.
Serena says, ''It's like we're in the Twilight zone. None of this makes any sense.''
4. WEATHER ORGASM: Oh, you know I love the rain. Love it. Love it. Love it. If there is such thing as a ''reality show host program orgasm'' this is it for me. Go ahead, make all the pithy comments you want. I encourage them all because I own it — I love the rain.
But to have rain...mixed along with hot pizza and a huge dilemma for the contestants... you have a Survivor episode worthy of an Emmy. And an orgasm worthy of it's own blog.
Are you reading this Emmy voters? I challenge you to watch this episode and then tell me this show is not worthy of an Emmy nomination. I'm not positioning, I'm merely preaching the gospel. Where's the love? Let us back in the game for crying out loud.
5. POSER ALERT: Coach, you're such a poser! The ''dragon slayer'' who wants to change the game and play against the best, doesn't think twice about opting for pizza over immunity? I expected better.
Coach's ''I'm hungry'' move just about did Serena in for the night. ''These three guys (Coach, Stephen, JT) think they are king of the world and it pisses me off.''
Okay I'm not that mad, that's what happens in this game. It's what is supposed to happen in the game. That's how it's designed. You think you're in control so you take a chance. Stephen and JT clearly feel they are very safe in this game. That kind of cockiness is fun to watch but it can backfire quickly, so heads up country mouse and city slicker – watch your backs.
6. WRITE THIS DOWN: ''It would be (bleeping) stupid if we made an alliance, gave it a name, bandied the name about, talked about ourselves being warriors and then chickened out at the last second.'' Oh man, that made me laugh so hard I had to play it back again and again so I could get it exactly right when I added it to the blog. Coach you may be a poser, but are a classic, dude.
7. CAN YOU SAY BLINDSIDE?: Tyson, I am going to miss you so much. Man, you were a blast. People will miss you way more than they realize. But dude, what a great blindside, eh? I mean they kicked your a$$. Zero idea. Great hair at tribal council, by the way.
FINAL WORDS: I know this season has been a slow burn...but I hope you're starting to enjoy it as much as I hoped you would. Like I said, tonight was hands down my favorite episode of the season and one of my favorites of all time.
I look forward to your always-insightful comments.
Joined: Sep 24, 2008 Posts: 6933 Location: Southern Maine
Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 5:42 am Post subject:
I really want to know who Sierra's boyfriend is, and why Jeff is saying that "if you mess with him, you mess with me". First he hints about her possibly getting together with a producer of the show (twice), and now this? C'mon Jeff, we need more than that carrot you're dangling in front of our faces.
And Tyson? Sorry, dude, I will so NOT miss you, and I don't recall the hair being great, but then again, I wouldn't have noticed since I can't stand the sight of you.
And OMG I really want to have an accidental meeting in the rain with Jeff. Sigh. _________________
Joined: Sep 29, 2008 Posts: 18593 Location: Albany, GA
Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:55 am Post subject:
In case no one has read it, here is Sierra's biography from the CBS website, which claims she is single:
Biography
Sierra Reed (23)
Hometown: Los Angeles, Calif.
Occupation: Model
Sierra Reed wants to make it clear right off the bat that she has the ability to find her place in any situation, anywhere in the world, through her perseverance and strength. Despite the fact that she is strong-willed and determined, she is one who will wear her heart on her sleeve. Not intimidated by age, ("I'm 25 and if you're 45 that's great, but if we have differences, I'm going to let you know"), Reed will speak her mind, yet she does it with purpose and passion. She hopes that her tenacity will balance out her "strong nature."
This fashion student and model is no stranger to roughing it. After moving to Taiwan by herself at a very young age, Sierra is used to living in places with no running water and filled with grime and bugs. Sierra is a self-proclaimed adventure junkie who "loves to experience new things all the time" and she believes that those experiences make her a prime candidate for SURVIVOR.
Sierra claims she isn't a "very stereotypical model," because she doesn't do it for the notoriety; she does it because modeling can help facilitate new experiences and allows for travel to amazing locations which is something she enjoys tremendously.
Her modeling background has helped to shape her strategy for the game. Forced to deal with a variety of personalities all competing for the same goal is nothing new to her, having lived with five catty models vying for one spot. This experience will be to her advantage when forming alliances and making her way through the twists of the game.
Sierra is single and currently resides in Los Angeles, Calif. Her birth date is September 29.
Joined: Sep 24, 2008 Posts: 8089 Location: East TN
Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 11:54 am Post subject:
Who is Serena?
"Even Serena is really pissed. She is mad that Sierra has never been given a fair shot. From day one, when she was sick and ousted from the tribe, she has been working hard to earn their approval. Serena is angry. Very angry. I like it when Serena gets angry." _________________
Joined: Sep 24, 2008 Posts: 6933 Location: Southern Maine
Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 11:55 am Post subject:
Thanks, Kenny. I'm sure she was single before the show started, which is when that bio would have been written. I just wonder with all of Jeff's comments about her, is she still single? _________________
I think Jeff is trying to tell us without actually coming out and saying. I think there is something going on with those 2. Serena is a friend of Jeff's, he mentioned her at the beginning of the season. _________________ "This stuff is beyond crap. It is what crap wants to be when it grows up"
Joined: Sep 29, 2008 Posts: 18593 Location: Albany, GA
Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 3:07 pm Post subject:
snid wrote:
Isn't Sierra's boyfriend one of the Survivor production people?
They met during the filming.
That's what Jeff has been implying but he could be joking and there is no confirmation. I'm sure we'll find out at the finale.
Yeah JM, I had met to write that when I posted Sierra's biography, that the bio would have been done at the time Survivor started but then again the whole show, except the live finale, would have already been filmed and over with before they posted the bios, as they were filming it while Gabon was airing. _________________
Have A Great Day!
Kenny
Well I was thinking that as Jeff has been with the show along time, he might have a producing credit and that is his way of telling us but not telling us.lol He could be talking about himself. :shrug: _________________ "This stuff is beyond crap. It is what crap wants to be when it grows up"
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